TL; DR: Workin' on my fitness; who's my witness?
I've had a rocky relationship with exercise - from spending hours on cardio machines, running a half-marathon, to being a stagnant couch potato, I've been all of these people.
Recently, however, I noticed some changes to my body that I was not happy about. While I am actively working on self-acceptance and self-love, I am also working on my confidence, which to me, includes loving and respecting my body so that I feel my absolute best. At the height of my work craziness, I felt drained and defeated.
It didn't start off this way - beyond a slow start in January, the month overall was a great one for me in terms of fitness. I got back into a schedule wherein I challenged myself on a daily basis in the gym, or at a spin class (thanks for the rides, SpinCo <3), and my mental clarity grew. Every morning leaving the gym, I let the cold winter air hit my face, and despite the frosty welcome, I couldn't help but smile. Work frustrations rolled off my back, without any terse exchanges. Funny how much a sweat session can affect your mood and outlook for hours to come.
However, the first day I missed a workout coincided with missed connections and lost luggage. After spending 48 hours in the same set of clothes, I stepped on another plane, having consumed my weight in free muffins, courtesy of an airline food voucher. To say I didn't feel like myself would be an understatement. Part of me wanted to wallow, to perpetuate the situation by comforting myself with delicious treats or unhealthy meal choices. But as I've worked my way through this first 100 day challenge, I've slowly been able to make better choices for myself. This includes indulging appropriately, but also putting my foot down and doing what's best for future me, even if current me is pouting over skipping dessert.
I haven't quite made it out the other side, but I'm looking forward to a sweaty workout after the madness of my trip. It's a reminder that there will be better days than others, and that ultimately it's the long-term goals that really count in the grand scheme of things.